When it comes to measurements, agilists have a different philosophy than traditionalists. We believe that metrics such as cost variance, schedule variance, requirements variance, and task variance are virtually meaningless (unless of course you're being paid to track these things, ca-ching!). Instead, agilists measure success through the regular delivery of high-quality, working software. Doesn't it make sense to measure the success of software development efforts by the delivery of working software?
Thank you for your post – I do appreciate it. It makes me think about when I read the book “Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Parents Knew”, a book written by someone who has a lot of pain and anger relating to her adoption. I read this book while I was waiting to go bring home the little boy who is now my older son. I was so shaken by the book that I thought about canceling the adoption; her pain was so palpable and overbearing that I began to think that perhaps I shouldn’t go through with the adoption. (I think this is why a lot of adoptive parents hate this book – it makes us question our actions so thoroughly, and that can be painful.) You may not agree with my reasoning, but I did decide to go forward – my son was already an orphan, I did not make him one, that loss occurred long before I began to think about adopting. I could not prevent any pain from what he’d already experienced, but I was determined to give him as much as I could so that he would have the wherewithal to deal with that pain. But I appreciated the fact that the book put into words some of what I think I need to know as my sons grow up and face the issues you are facing. Your essay does the same.
Mixed feelings. On the one hand, my first reaction was with Barbara at #14. On the other, it takes a strong person – and one with a lot of love – to do what’s honestly best for the child. I feel strongly this is what Anita has done; to keep trying, especially when there was another option with a willing adoptive family that had the skills to care for this boy, would have been at bottom an issue of the mother’s guilt and ego – “I can do this!” – rather than what was best for the child. I hope that when Anita is ready, the new adoptive family updates her on his progress, in part because I’m sure she will always want to know, and in part because it will help her to ease her mind and reassure her that she did the right thing.